My Nirvana

So the child grows. As his needs and desires gain in both intensity and sophistication, he is dependent on his sparse inventory of experience to propel him safely through the deep and hazardous waters of interpersonal relationships. The lessons get harder and the price gets much higher to pay. A smile is no longer enough. A cute gesture is only that and nothing more. Love and acceptance by others is no less a necessity now than ever, but it is not so easily obtained. The obligatory and anticipated rewards for adorable behavior given us by our parents are not so readily found in those who have no genetic predisposition to love us. Familial love is but a pale precursor of the romantic love we seek in later years.

But still we hunger for that warm contentment of shared compassion and longing for physical contact which can only be encountered when we are held tightly in the heart and soul of an object of our desires. For me is it is my wife and she has honestly more than she knows or more than I can ever show has my heart and my soul. I know this because when I hurt her I do honestly feel it 100 fold in my own heart. When she cries my heart breaks in knowing that I am the one that has caused the tear and the pain.

We set forth on our journey to love's gratification with only those sadly ineffectual tools we developed as children. Their purpose, long served, has outlived its usefulness. We search for nirvana unclothed and without protection from the harshness of the world in which it may or may not exist at all. By trial and many errors, we ruefully discern that the truest and most satisfying of emotional forces, that which we call love, often appears to be no more than a taunting mirage. An apparition of beauty which lies just beyond our seemingly limited reach. 

We strive and toil endlessly, enchanted by love's simple promise of a more complete and meaningful existence. A communal reality of two souls enjoined by identical and mutually fulfilling sentiment.  Ahhh, such is the essence of wakeful dreams and conscious imaginings but I have been blessed to find it all with my family and my wife. For I have this nirvana when I do what is right and do no harm. When I do harm I jeopardize this all and that is good.

Know what you have always and feel it. Respect it and all around you. Feed into it positive only. This is the answer to doing no harm and to a long life with those that you love more than life itself.