Got these from a friend and thought I would post them since I can't think of anything to write today...LOL. Maybe we sould all get a pornstar wife to take light of the comment below...LMAO...Just kidding...Love mine. My wife that is...Break is over and back to work...
Adult film star Jenna Jameson and her boyfriend of two years, Tito Ortiz, welcomed twin boys Monday morning. The new mother was not only thrilled about having twins but was ecstatic when one of the boys spoke his first words by saying, "Hi, I'm here to clean your pool"
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A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:
"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."
To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"
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